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Umineko 1-2: REVENGE OF THE SPARKLE (part deux)

Remember to read Part 1 before going on.


Self-centered, rich people that are going to die do!


WARNING: THIS SATIRICAL LOOK ON THE EPISODE WILL SPOIL YOU FOR FUTURE EPISODES AND FOR THE GAME IN GENERAL. THIS IS MEANT TO BE SOMETHING FOR GAME READERS TO POKE FUN AT.


So morning comes and Kanon and Genji are off to the mansion.











Wow this place delivers to islands? Damn that's good customer service.



WHO WILL TELL ME MY REFRIGERATOR IS RUNNING NOW?? ;A;


Meanwhile Natsuhi was being woken up.





Oh I love this joke.







YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG >:U!










IF ANYTHING HAPPENS ALWAYS BLAME THE BITCH.

So they go downstairs to figure out why the hell there is no breakfast.









Because he hates you, lousy Britannian.


Meanwhile, Eva and Hideyoshi enter the room all nonchalant like.



I would think she woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but she's always like this so...



Eva better get ready for a beatdown.








No one ever suspects the quiet butler!




I don't know who is the bigger jerk in this part. Kinzo or Natsuhi?


....pffft. are you serious?

HIS FLOOR IS A CHESSBOARD!

OKAY I GET THAT YOU WANNA MAKE ALL THESE PUNS WITH CHESS, BUT ARE YOU SERIOUS.

A CHESSBOARD FLOOR. WHAT DOES HE MOVE AROUND IN AN L-SHAPE ALL THE TIME, OR DOES HE ONLY WALK ON BLACK TILES?













WELL THE CHEF IS DEAD, SO WE HAVE VERY LIMITED OPTIONS.

Feeling dejected, Natsuhi goes to leave.










Oh Kinzo, you jerk.







Krauss as a woman. Dear god, that's nightmare fuel for you right there.





Kinzo is a quick-thinker.




IT MUST REALLY MATTER IF I'M TALKING ABOUT MY HEART WHILE TOUCHING MY SHOULDER!








OH SHIT IT'S TAKANO...no wait, it's just Eva the Bitch.







AND SO THEY TAKE A FIELD TRIP TO THE SHED.




"I was sure it was there yesterday when I moved the corpses inside!"


Wow. This has got to be the dumbest thing ever. Sad part is in the anime someone actually suggested they might be inside the shed :|





MEANWHILE, THE KIDS WERE PLAYING CHILDREN'S CARD GAMES.










NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NANJOOOOOOOOO







I KNOW RIGHT.



DECIDING THAT THEY SHOULD BE NOSY JERKS, THE CHILDREN LEAVE FOR THE SHED.








Natsuhi is just like a firewall. Even though she's big and busty, SHE NEVER KEEPS THE VIRUSES OUT OF THE SYSTEM.

AND THAT'S WHEN THE MOST SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT (yet) OCCURRED!


Summed up in one phrase!




AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH




A PLOT DEVELOPMENT OH NO!





Natsuhi got some super crazy power strength going on.




BECAUSE THE BASHED FACES CLEARLY DIDN'T GIVE IT AWAY.




That explains the delayed reaction.




DARTH VADER SYMPATHIZES WITH YOU, BATTLER.








And Beatrice proves once and for all that she is indeed the ultimate troll.

EPILOGUE:



















































THE END (for now)
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  • 1
Once again, I'm impressed. The jokes haven't gotten stale yet.

I agree that the prank call epilogue was great and that the CODE GEASS jokes never grow old. Battler and his comments about the card game are hilarious.

Keep them coming!

  • 1
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