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Umineko 1-3
STFU EVA
uminekolol
Umineko Episode 1-3: Cat Fight!



dur hur hur wrong cat fight


WARNING: THIS SATIRICAL LOOK ON THE EPISODE WILL SPOIL YOU FOR FUTURE EPISODES AND FOR THE GAME IN GENERAL. THIS IS MEANT TO BE SOMETHING FOR GAME READERS TO POKE FUN AT.






Nobody likes George. Well except Shannon.

OWAIT.







He couldn't tell his parents that he killed her with a wedding ring.

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DRAMATIC

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Hideyoshi is so brilliant.

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That ring was a present, George! How could you give it away?!

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Oh man, George has gone emo on us.

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Oh Battler, you pervert~


And so everyone goes back to the mansion, where Nanjo delivers the sad news to Maria.

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She was devastated.

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The two ladies leave to find Kinzo.

BUT SUDDENLY A NEW PLOT TWIST COMES RUNNING INTO THE ROOM.

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"I swear if my breakfast is burned too I'm going to kill myself."

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Something I noticed. Last episode the parents were in the parlor talking around midnight, but according to this they were killing in the dining room. In actuality, it states in the game and in the manga that the parents were discussing in the dining room at midnight and not in the parlor.

SO WHY THE HECK DID DEEN PUT THEM IN THE PARLOR AND NOT IN THE DINING ROOM. THIS SCENE MAKES NO SENSE.

OBVIOUSLY STUDIO DEEN'S PRESIDENT BEATRICE IS SCREWING WITH US.

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KANON IS SO /HEROIC/.

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Creepy smile is creepy.

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CRAAAAWLING IN MY SKIIIIIN

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HEY MARIA, WHY U SMILING.

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SORRY I DIDN'T READ THE BIBLE NINE TIMES LIKE YOU DID.

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I would make more death note jokes, but this person beat me to it.

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TOO LATE.

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Turns out Maria has the same birth defect as Eva.

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I find this image very offense. Why does the spooky black shadow have to be BLACK? Why can't it be white >:U!!!

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Jerk.


So they all go to look around for Kinzo in the main hall...I think. It looks like they were just shuffling around, waiting for something to do.


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BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!!!~~~

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TIME FOR BREAKFAST.


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OKAY BREAKFAST TIME OVER.

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AND NOW A WORD FROM OUR SPONSERS.




~!SUNKIST ORANGE SODA IS AWESOME!~


AND NOW BACK TO THE SHOW.


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Better not be on the floor! They just cleaned that!

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Wavelengths? Wtf. What kind of dumb explanation is that. Does that mean I can't see Santa because my wavelengths don't match up to his either :|

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Battler finally sympathizes with Rosa.

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OH SHI-

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Damn :U

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It's fun to lie to children!

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Maria is not amused.

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TO BE CONTINUED!
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